Me: Wow, you look pretty today.
Wife: Does it mean that I was not pretty yesterday? So it was that pink dress, right? You think I'm fat, don't you? And OMG, you haven't even fixed that leak in the kitchen sink yet!
I've been married for 15 years and so I'm not worried about what's there in the COVID vaccine!
Wives are like dentists. They like to talk non-stop, but don't let the other person talk!
I told my wife that I cannot open that jar for her because I have a headache!
Wife: Why did you keep on drinking at the party even after I gave you a look?
Husband: What look?
Wife: I raised my eyebrows.
Husband: How will I know that you're giving me a look? You draw your eyebrows differently everyday. I thought it was your new style!
My wife threw a knife at me. She said it was an accident.
But I think throwing it the second time shouting `I'll get you this time` was absolutely unnecessary!
Whoever created the tradition of not seeing the bride in wedding dress before hand saved countless husbands everywhere from hours of dress shopping and will forever be a hero to all men!
Marriage is about finding what irritates your spouse and using it strategically!
Don't believe in time travel?
Just start an argument with your wife!
Wife: You like slim women or curvy women?
Me: I only like women the way you are.
Wife: Good answer.
Married life taught me how to tackle tricky questions!