Bachelors know a lot more about women than married men do.
That's why they aren't married!
Wife: Honey, I'm not in a good mood.
Husband: Okay!
Wife: You're not gonna ask me why?
Husband: No, but you can take my credit card & go shopping!
Most famous speeches:
1. I have a dream: Martin Luther King
2. I am the first accused: Nelson Mandela
3. How dare you?: Greta Thunberg
4. We need to talk: My wife
Husband: You always hurt me with words.
Wife: Sorry, I'll use a knife next time!
The doctor advised my wife to lose the terrible body fat she's living with if she wants to be healthy & peaceful.
Now she's planning to divorce me!
Wife: I didn't find any hair on your shirt?
Husband: So?
Wife: So, now you are dating a bald woman!
Friend: I'm a risk-taker. I do mountain-climbing without any safety equipment.
Me: I'm also a risk-taker. I tell my wife that I didn't like her new haircut. So, it's the same!
My wife just told me I am right and that she's sorry. I'm not used to this.
What do I do next?
I heard the new GPS systems come with built-in "wife mode".
If you miss a direction, it says, "I ALREADY TOLD YOU WHAT TO DO. OH GOD, YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME" and shuts itself down!
My wife was in a bad mood for a couple of days. So I asked her if it's because of her weight gain during the lockdown.
I think I have dug my own grave!
