Husband: When I die, I want to be buried.
Wife: No, you'll be cremated.
Husband: But burial is cheaper than cremation.
Wife: I've heard about a man who was buried long ago but he resurrected back after 3 days. So I don't want to take any chances!
My wife told me that she's gonna declutter the house by getting rid of anything that doesn't bring happiness in her life.
To be frank, I'm a bit worried!
Husband: Studies show that there are at least 6 people in the world who look exactly like you. And there's a 9% chance that you'll meet them in your lifetime. I can't wait to meet my look alike.
Wife: There's a 100% chance that he'll be disappointed looking at you!
My wife complained that of late, I've not been paying her enough attention. So I started asking her everyday if she has gained a little weight. That is angering her even more. Women are difficult to understand!
Top three dreams of a man:
1. To be as handsome as his mother thinks he is.
2. To be as rich as his child believes he is.
3. To have as many women as his wife suspects he has!
Wife: What are you doing?
Husband: Watching Tom & Jerry.
Wife: Aren't you a little old to watch cartoons?
Husband: Aren't you a little old to shop at Forever 21?
Wife: What?
Husband: Sorry, Sorry... Woh Bas Galti Se Munh Se Nikal Gaya!
Department of Health is looking to hire couples married for 7 years or more to educate people about social distancing!
My wife's like a book full of exquisite poems. And I'm illiterate!
The latest studies show that 50% of women are affected by PMS whereas it affects 100% of their husbands!
The wife told me that I exaggerate all the time.
After she said that, I just stood there in shock for like 11 hours!
