I always keep the GPS in my car switched off as my wife doesn't like another woman giving me orders!
On Arriving Late at Home:
Wife: What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?
Husband: Golfing with friends, my dear.
Wife: What? At 2 AM?!
Husband: Yes. We used night clubs!
Pro Tip:
If your wife asks you if a girl looks pretty, please understand that it's a tricky question. So at any cost, do not agree or disagree with her. Instead, look into her eyes and tell her that she looks so beautiful today!
My wife says I only have two faults.
I don't listen, and something else!
To err may be human, but to be forgiven by my wife is highly unlikely!
Life-saving tip:
Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from behind, and an angry wife from any direction!
My wife and I have these cute nicknames for each other.
I call her cutie pie and she calls me an idiot!
I made my wife angry again and as usual, I apologized. She said she'd forgive me if I prepare the dinner tonight.
I really hope she likes Maggi noodles!
I have been following a high fiber diet from the day I got married.
Only thing is that 90% of the fiber is my wife's hair that's on the food!
Before I got married, I had hopes & ambitions.
After marriage, I take medicines for that!
