I told my wife, "I'm a wild animal that can't be controlled. I'll do what I want when I want.`
She then stared at me and I stared back.
Then we both laughed and I quickly started mopping the floor!
Husband: I'm gonna exercise every day so that my body looks fabulous when the quarantine is over.
Wife: That's okay, but what are you going to do about your face?
Life-saving tip:
When your wife asks `What did you just say?` during an argument, never repeat what you just said. Say something else!
The wife and I have been in lockdown for 12 days now.
One thing is for sure, there is no way I am retiring!
Newton also has a Third Law of Emotion during the lockdown.
"For every male action, there is a female overreaction"!
First time in history, everywhere in this world, every woman knows where her husband is!
Marital Pro Tip:
Struggling to get your wife's attention? Just sit on the sofa and look comfortable & happy. You'll get all the attention you want!
If you have a developed an intimate psychological attachment towards your wife during the quarantine, it's called Stockholm Syndrome!
Wife: What's that weird sound?
Husband: It's the car seat belt alarm.
Wife: It's been beeping for 10 minutes now. How can you ignore such an annoying sound for so long?
Husband: All these years of marriage trained me to do so!
Wife: Why can't you wear a mask?
Husband: But I'm not going anywhere.
Wife: I know. I'm just really tired of your face!
