Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is it true?
Husband: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers!
When your wife says "I can't even tell you how upset I am with you right now", just wait for 3 seconds.
And here we go!
I think my wife is trying to speak to me in French since morning. She is uttering words like...
Chanel
Dior
Hermes
Louis Vuitton
Lanvin
very difficult to understand!
The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say, "Now you are Super Angry!"
Maybe she'll laugh.
Maybe you'll die!
I blame all the marriage problems that I have on my wife, because of her poor choice in selecting a husband!
I gave my wife some tips on how to wash the dishes better.
In other news, this Pril dish wash liquid is really starting to make my hands soft!
I impress my wife by buying her dresses marked small and then by looking surprised when she says that it doesn't fit her!
My wife pissed me off in my dream last night. When I told her about it, she said it was probably due to something I started.
Long story short, I had to apologize and buy her flowers!
Husbands are like newborn babies.
They know that they're being scolded, but never understand why!
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, but then it was too late!
