If I had a time machine, I would go back to certain conversations with my wife to see if she really said the things she told me I forgot!
My wife has gone to her parents' place on vacation and I'm missing her so much.
So I went to KFC and picked a fight with the woman at the drive-thru window!
"Can you make me breakfast in bed?" asked the wife.
I said, "No, I'll have to go to the kitchen!"
An honest confession by a husband:
My wife is my strength. All the other women are my weakness!
What I said: Has the dishwasher run?
What she heard: What do you do here all day while I'm at work?
So anyway, how much chocolate cake is needed to say `I'm sorry for that thing I didn't say`!
I came home to find my wife in a romantic mood and she said, "Today you can do anything you want."
So I tied her up and...
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went back to the pub!
I got soft closing doors installed throughout the house so we don't wake the kids at night but now I have no way of telling when the wife is in a bad mood!
The wife said, "You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me!
Husband is giving an order to his wife...
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Yeah that was the joke!
Pro Tip:
Convert your sofa into a sofa-bed by simply forgetting your wife's birthday!
