Wife: Ugh I gained 3 kilos during vacation. What about you?
Me while looking at scale showing I actually lost a kilo, I gained 4 kilos!
How to tell if a guy is married:
* Sleeps on a foot and a half at the edge of a king sized bed
* Says "what?" a lot
* Just agrees with everything without hearing the whole proposal
Wife: Aapne Mujh Mein Kya Dekh Kar Shaadi Ki?
Husband: Nothing... I am daring since my childhood!
Wife: I have blisters on my hand because of the broom.
Husband: Next time take the car, silly!
Husband: I got trapped into marriage.
Wife (in anger): You were after me; I was not after you. You used to follow me to the bus stop, office, home, everywhere!
Husband: True! The mouse-trap never runs after the mouse! It is the mouse that runs into the trap!
Taking inspiration from the Indian govt., even my wife has implemented GST:
'Galti Sirf Tumhari'!
I love to watch my wife while she eats.
It's blissful to observe her for a few minutes of silence!
I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'.
Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble!
They say that marriage is a great institution because using the word jail would be too harsh!
Active Voice
Wife: Sone Ki Chain Kab Doge?
Passive Voice
Husband: Chain Se Sone Kab Dogi?
