A woman went into a hunting store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband," she explained.
"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the store assistant.
Woman: Are you kidding? He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him!
Lawyer: You say you're divorcing your husband for health reasons?
Woman: Yes. I'm sick of him!
If you think Mayweather vs. McGregor was a big fight, wait until my wife finds out I just paid $100 to watch it!
Wife: Kya Yahan-Wahan Ghoom Rahe Ho... Ja Kar Blue Whale Game Khel Lo.
Husband: Main Bacchpan Se Khel Raha Hun. Tumse Shaadi Mera Last Task Tha!
Customer: I have come back to buy the car I was looking at yesterday.
Salesman: Fine. Now tell me, what was the one dominating thing that made you buy this car?
Customer: My wife!
Husband: Kahan Ja Rahi Ho?
Wife: Nahane!
Husband: Mobile Le Kar?
Wife: Toh Balti Bharne Tak Kya Karu?
Friend 1: Why is your eye swollen?
Friend 2: It was my wife's birthday yesterday and I bought her a cake.
Friend 1: But how did your eye get swollen?
Friend 2: Her name is Tapasya... but that cake shop idiot wrote "Happy Birthday Samasya"!
In married life, since the husband can't talk in a high pitch with his wife in the conscious state; God empowered him with a unique skill set, enabling him to keep his voice at the highest decibel in an unconscious state, called as Snoring!
This is called balanced Act of God!
Ghurrrr... Ghurrrr...
I don't have any problem when my wife talks for hours with her parents.
Problem starts when she says, `Ek Minute, Inse Baat Karo`!
Wife: I am not talking to you.
Husband: Okay!
Wife: Don't you want to know the reason?
Husband: No, I respect and trust your decision!
