Marriage is a competition between two people who can live longer.
Whoever wins gets all of the other person's money!
From Tractor to Twitter:
Farmers rock!
Depression is not crying inside a dark room.
Depression can be going to work, hanging out with people... while feeling just empty inside!
Tip for a successful marriage:
DON'T
Me: Wow, you look pretty today.
Wife: Does it mean that I was not pretty yesterday? So it was that pink dress, right? You think I'm fat, don't you? And OMG, you haven't even fixed that leak in the kitchen sink yet!
Your phone collects more data about you than any implanted microchip would!
I've been married for 15 years and so I'm not worried about what's there in the COVID vaccine!
Wives are like dentists. They like to talk non-stop, but don't let the other person talk!
I finally figured out my body type.
It's an hourglass with extra minutes!
I told my wife that I cannot open that jar for her because I have a headache!
