Husband: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Wife: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on!
My fitness instructor wants me to touch my toes.
But I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet!
Doctor: What do you do when you feel stressed?
Boy: I go to the temple.
Doctor: Good! And do you do meditation there?
Boy: No, I just mix up all the shoes kept inside and watch people feeling more stressed than me!
Son: Dad, what happens when you die?
Dad: You go to heaven.
Son: No, I mean when YOU die. Will I get your stuff?
Life is ironic.
It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence!
You know that burning sensation in your throat when you drink whiskey?
That's your soul healing!
Never depend on someone else to make you happy.
That's what Beer is for!
Teacher: 2 Flowers + 2 Flowers?
Pappu: 4 Flowers.
Teacher: Good! 6 Flowers + 5 Flowers?
Pappu: 11 Flowers.
Teacher: Very good! 22343 Flowers + 33453 Flowers?
Pappu: A Garden!
Man: Is it a crime to throw Sodium Chloride in your enemy's eyes?
Police Officer: Yes that's assault.
Man: I know it's salt but is it a crime?
Waiter: How did you find your steak sir?
Customer: I just looked next to potatoes and there it was!