Teacher: Draw a diagram of bacteria.
Pappu: Here it is, Sir.
Teacher: Where? It's a blank. You haven't drawn anything.
Pappu: Sir, you won't be able to see bacteria without a microscope!
Pappu: I have 2 bad news for you.
Bunty: Combine them.
Pappu: Your girlfriend is cheating on both of us!
Pappu: Hello Police station, there's like a thousand dead people here!
Police: Where are you?
Pappu: At the cemetery!
Bunty: Do you have any superpower?
Pappu: Yes, I have the superpower that if you have got a problem, I can make it worse!
Science Teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Pappu: When my father sees my report card!
Pappu: Dad I got suspended from school.
Santa: What? Why?
Pappu: The teacher pointed a ruler at me and said there is an idiot at the end of the ruler; and I just asked "which end?"
Boy: Happy Birthday baby!
Girl: Awww... thank you sweetheart! What did you get me?
Boy: It was supposed to be a surprise, but you remember that pink Mercedes that you wanted so badly?
Girl: OMG! OMG! OMG! Yes, Yes, Yes, I'm screaming now!
Boy: Well I got you toothbrush in the same colour!
Pappu: I love you
Girl: Surat Ko Dekha Hai?
Pappu: Nahi Bas Ahmedabad Tak Hi Geya Hun!
Bunty: Why are you so lazy?
Pappu: I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated to do nothing!
Pappu: You remember that girl who said: "I can't live without you"?
Bunty: Yeah.
Pappu: She is still alive!