Pappu: I am fed up with my parents.
Bunty: What happened?
Pappu: Unko Time Check Karna Bhi Nahi Aata.
Bunty: Hua Kya?
Pappu: Roz Subah Mujhe Utha Kar Bolte Hain, "Uth Ja Dekh Kitna Time Ho Geya Hai!"
Pappu: Do you know why girls love to go Goa?
Bunty: Why?
Pappu: Because they love beaching around!
Girlfriend: I'm pregnant. What do you want it to be?
Pappu: Definitely a joke!
Bunty: Exam Ki Tayaari Karli?
Pappu: Maine Result Ki Bhi Tayaari Karli.
Bunty: Matlab?
Pappu: Papa Ki Belt, Joote Chuppa Diya Hain!
Bunty: What's the craziest thing that ever happened to you?
Pappu: My crush had been texting me without ignoring me!
Girl: Kuchh Aisa Bolo Ki Mere Dil Ki Dhadkan Tez Ho Jaye.
Pappu: Woh Dekh Tere Papa Aa Gaye!
Pappu: I fell off a 50 ft. ladder yesterday.
Bunty: But you seem fine.
Pappu: Yeah, luckily I was on the bottom step!
Bunty: Who is your 4 AM friend?
Pappu: I am my own 4 AM friend. Everyday at 4 AM, I have deep conversations with myself like, "What's wrong with you? Tu Sota Kyon Nahi Hai?"
Bunty: Why do girls live longer than boys?
Pappu: Because shopping doesn't cause heart attacks. Paying the bill does!
English Teacher: Make a sentence using neither-nor?
Pappu: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, neither are they comfortable nor are we!