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Who said women can't drive?
They can drive you crazy!

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No one has more to say than a woman who says she doesn't want to talk about it!

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I've been very careful and didn't give my wife any reason to be upset with me during the last week.
Now she's upset with me because I am not giving her any reason to be upset with me.
Women are unbelievable!

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Girls can apologize when they sneeze but not when they are wrong!

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Women are not telling the truth when they say they love their kids more than their husbands.
For instance, a woman can leave her kids all day with a female neighbour but will never leave her husband alone for even one minute with the same neighbour!

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The seven stages in a woman's life:

1) Infant
2) Child
3) Miss
4) Very young woman
5) Young woman
6) Young woman
7) Graceful lady

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Cooking for 2 hours just to eat for 10 minutes is the biggest scam in the world.
~ A frustrated housewife

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Define A Woman:
Someone who can talk 4 hours while standing at the door but she won't sit because she is getting late!

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Women have 4 types of showers:
1. A quick body wash
2. Hair and body wash
3. #YASQUEEN (Exfoliate, shave, condition hair)
4. Stare at the wall, evaluate all life decisions, and hope the water washes away your stress!

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How old am I?
If I were a bottle of wine, you couldn't afford me;
And if I were a bottle of whiskey, you couldn't handle me!