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![I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.]()
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~ Groucho MarxI refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. -
![A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.]()
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~ Grace HansenA wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. -
~ Author UnknownIf drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. -
~ AnonymousI told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. -
~ George CarlinCloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view. -
![Common sense is so rare these days that, it should be classified as a super power.]()
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~ AnonymousCommon sense is so rare these days that, it should be classified as a super power. -
![Middle age: When you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.]()
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~ Ogden NashMiddle age: When you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. -
![A perfect summer day: the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.]()
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~ James DentA perfect summer day: the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. -
~ Woody AllenYou can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred. -
![Torture numbers, and they'll confess to anything.]()
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~ Gregg EasterbrookTorture numbers, and they'll confess to anything.
