Funny Quotes

  • I wanna be rich enough to realize that I can't buy happiness.
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    I wanna be rich enough to realize that I can't buy happiness.
    ~ Ratty Miller
  • Destiny is what you are supposed to do in life. Fate is what kicks you in the ass to make you do it.
    ~ Henry Miller
  • I hate reasonable people, the activity of their brains sucks up all the blood out of their hearts.
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    I hate reasonable people, the activity of their brains sucks up all the blood out of their hearts.
    ~ W. B. Yeats
  • I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
    Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
    ~ Douglas Adams
  • A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
    ~ Steve Martin
  • Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
    The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    ~ Groucho Marx
  • Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
    ~ Mark Twain
  • The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
    ~ Mark Twain
  • One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one makes.
    ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
  • You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
    ~ Elayne Boosler
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