sms

Bhakt: Baba, Vishwas Aur Andh Vishwas Mein Kya Farak Hai?
Baba: Jisne Daaru Di Woh Namkeen Bhi Dega, Yeh Hai Vishwas. Lekin Jisne Namkeen Diya Woh Daaru Bhi Dega, Yeh Hai Andh Vishwas!

sms

There are five types of alcoholics:

1) Who suffer from memory loss, after drinking.
2) ... sorry I forgot!

sms

The wife saw the fridge, full of Kingfisher beer bottles, kept by her husband.
She asked: "What is this for?"
Husband's humble answer: "I'm doing what the banks and the govt, could not do... freezing the properties of Vijay Mallya!
After freezing I will also liquidate these assets.

sms

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty.
I said because she is a pessimist!

sms

Two men walk into a bar.
One man orders H2O. The other says, "I'll have H2O too."
The second man dies!

sms

For years and years, I have been incorrectly hearing this advertisement for cough and cold...
.
.
.
.
.
Whiskey Goli Lo!

sms

Me: I'll never make that mistake again.
Whisky: Yes you will!

sms

Three scariest things to see in the morning after spending the previous night drunk:

1) Your face
2) Your wallet
3) List of outgoing calls/texts

sms

If you can't dance when you are drunk, at least speak English or promise people jobs. Don't just waste alcohol!

sms

My conscience is clear. Because I regularly wash it with alcohol!