How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don't need a partner!
Murdering English:
One Branch Manager while searching for new premises for the branch, sent a message to his Regional Office.
The Landlady is ready to give her upper portion.
If we press hard she will give lower too!
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry!
A brand new Ajit dialogue:
Mona darling, iss ko sleeping pills ke saath Viagra khilaa do......
`Yeh pada bhi rahega... aur khada bhi rahega`
2 year old son spits on the floor.
Wife: We don't spit. If it's in your mouth you swallow it.
Husband raises eyebrows.
Wife: You shut up!
SERIOUS HEALTH WARNING:
Licking a pussy is very dangerous to your health because it is
5% urine
3% acidic
2% fatty
and 90% highly addictive!
How do you know that a female bartender is pissed off with you?
There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary!
What's the difference between a micro-wave and a homosexual?
A micro-wave doesn't brown your meat!
What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?
A 'Pussy is soft, warm and delightful and it's owned by a 'Cunt!
The best way to smuggle drugs is to put it in a dog's ass. Even if a sniffer dog suspects it, the police will think that he's just horny!