There once was a farm girl named Mabel
Who at milking was not very able.
To get over her fright,
She practised at night
With sausages under the table!
A lecherous Bishop of Peoria,
In a state of constant euphoria,
Enjoyed having fun,
With a whore or a nun,
While chanting the Sanctus and Gloria!
"Here I sit in a misty vapor
Some damn fool stole the toilet paper
My bus is late and I cannot linger
Lookout butt here comes my finger!
There was a young gal from Wick,
Who asked her mum - what's a prick?
Her mother said Annie -
It goes up your fanny
And jumps up and down till it's sick!
A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she'd "just take a chance".
She let herself go
For an hour or so
And now all her sisters are aunts.
On the internet they found romance,
That put both in a sexual trance,
But each had a gripe,
That it's hard to type,
With a hand stuck down in your pants.
On the internet they found romance.
That put both in a hot sexual trance.
But each had a gripe,
About having to type,
With a hand stuck down their pants!
There once was a man with a member
That would only stand up in December.
He said, "Then it's too cold
For a hard-on so bold,
I wish it would work in September!"
The night was almost gone,
As I opened my eyes with a yawn.
I was quite amazed
With her thighs on my face,
I was seeing the crack of Dawn!
A lady, by passion deluded,
Found a man who was drunk and denuded,
And fit as a fiddle,
And hot for a diddle
She tied splints to his penis and screwed it!