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There's a big difference between men and women when they say they finished a whole box of tissues watching that film last night!

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People always tell me to practice safe sex but I tried it and my dick couldn't fit into the tiny keyhole!

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My neighbour's wife discovered that I am active in the stock market.
Every morning she asks, "Aaj Chadega Kya?"

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Do you also imagine the bride and groom having sex when you go to a wedding or are you normal?

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A man admitted his pregnant wife to the hospital.
Doctor: The baby is coming early.
Lady: Like father, like son!

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The reason women will never start proposing is that the moment they get on their knees...
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Men will start unzipping!

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Arguing over a girl's breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Foster:s, Carlsberg & Budweiser.
Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available!

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You can't spell advertisements without semen between the tits!

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A Million Dollar Advice:
Before making any costly promise to a woman, masturbate twice.
It may change your opinion!

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An ISRO Scientist on the first night to his wife: Darling, shall I take you to the Moon first or the Jupiter first?
Wife: Let me see the rocket first!