There is love without sex and there's sex without love.
And then there are we married couples without both!
My wife is so frigid, her tits must be tips of icebergs.
Wife: Our vacuum cleaner has stopped sucking.
Husband: Maybe it got married?
I was so excited when my wife texted me that she wanted to be on top tonight.
Didn't have a clue that she was talking about the bunk bed that we bought last week!
A man and a woman can just be friends with no sex involved.
It's called marriage!
1st year of marriage: Great sex! Now let's cuddle and fall asleep.
10th year of marriage: Sex? We just did that in April!
Ambulances and women have a lot in common. They both make a lot of noise to let you know that they're coming!
After all these years my wife still thinks I'm sexy.
Every time I walk by she says, "What an Ass"!
What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
Last night, I told my husband, we should try some role reversal in bed.
And the bastard said he had a headache!