| There is one thing about baldness: it's neat. |
| Dear Obama, could you visit Mumbai? Nothing political... just... we could really use the clean up! |
| A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. |
| Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. |
| Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of before talking such fool nonsense. |
| Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees. |
| Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. |
| When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. |
| People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. |
| Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. |
