Clean Jokes

I asked my friend`s son what he wanted to be when he grows up. He said he wanted to be Prime Minister some day. Both of his parents, liberal leftists, were standing there, so I asked him, "If you were PM...

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kinda strange so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents. Wife: Honey, I have something...

A man finds his dog with a dead rabbit in its mouth. He realizes that the rabbit is a pet of his next-door neighbour. In a panic he cleans the rabbit up and sneaks it into its cage, hoping his neighbour...

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted `CRAZY` then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down...

A man came home from the mine where he works, very sad and stressed. The wife asks: Babe what`s wrong???
The man says: All the people I`m working with are dead...

In a poor zoo in India, a lion was offered not more than 1 kg of meat a day. The lion thought that its prayers were answered when one day a USA zoo manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management..

Guru Dutt is reborn and makes a film, called Software ke Phool. Sahir Ludhianvi saheb revises his old song for the new venture. It goes like this:
Yeh Document, Yeh Meetings, Yeh Features ki Duniya...

Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking 2 my wife about life.. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her, "Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines...

A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife...

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy (Dot for short). Dot Com was a homely woman...