Clean Jokes

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie`s house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...

Anyone who has raised, or even just been around, a toddler knows these things are true. Toddlers and drunks are EERILY similar!
No personal boundaries.
Falls over A LOT. Gets up...

A father had promised his two young sons he would take them on a fishing trip. The boys were digging for fishing bait in their parents` garden. Uncovering a many legged creature, one of the boys proudly dangled...

When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Mom" and pushed send. His mother answered, and I told her what happened...

A guy goes to a girl`s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks. As he`s standing there alone...

Lady patient to the Doctor inside his examination room: Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable.
Doctor: Trust me lady, I am...

A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing...

It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper: "Ames"
"Here...

An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when one day the old woman died. The entire family showed up to the funeral. Every day after the funeral the old man would show up at the grave with...

At a church meeting, a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith. "I`m a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember...