Clean Jokes

A retired officer goes to a shop and asks the young shopkeeper, "Give me 742 grains of green gram."

The boy, without speaking a word, quickly weighs 200 grams of green gram and gives it to the customer...

The duty officer reported to his CO: Sir nothing significant has happened during my duty hours - only the dog died.
The CO asked: How did the dog die?...

Military leaders succeed in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. They are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe...

A new camp commander was appointed and while inspecting the place, he saw 2 soldiers guarding a bench. He went over there and asked them why do they guard it. "We don`t know. The last commander told us...

A soldier was stationed abroad and received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read: "Dear Dave, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great...

During a training session at an artillery unit the sergeant-major was busy describing how the sophisticated aiming device of the artillery weapon system is used. "As you all know, there are...

He said: When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit. One day, a long memo...

Army traditions and discipline run deep. A regiment had a new CO. On inspection he saw two soldiers guard a bench. He asked the reason. "We don`t know, Sir The last CO told us...

During a training session at an artillery unit the sergeant-major was busy describing how the sophisticated aiming device of the artillery weapon system is used: "As you all know, there are 180 degrees...

A young Army private seeks permission from his commanding officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explains, "my wife`s expecting."
"I understand," the officer tells him. "You go, and tell your wife