Clean Jokes

An extremely drunk man walks into a bar. He looks around for a while and, after staring at the only woman seated at the bar for some time, stumbles over to her and kisses her full on the lips. Shocked and outraged...

The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and...

In a church one Sunday morning a preacher said, "Anyone with `special needs` who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front of the altar."
With that, Peter got in line and when it was his turn...

A teacher asked his class how many of them were Trump fans. Not quite knowing what a Trump fan is, but wanting to be loved by the teacher, all of the kids raised their hands, except Little Johnny. The teacher asked...

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says. The two Englishmen just stare at him...

Yeshiva University decided to field a rowing team. Unfortunately, they lose race after race. Even though they practice and practice for hours everyday, they never manage to come in any better than dead last...

A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They're immediately taken back to a room.
Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves...

A new camp commander was appointed and while inspecting the place, he saw 2 soldiers guarding a bench. He went over there and asked them why do they guard it. "We don`t know. The last commander told us...

1. Laxman to Seeta: Stay offline.
2. Mayawati ctrls+all+dalits.
3. What did Jaya say to Abhishek when they saw Amitabh coming home in a rickshaw?>
"Rickshey mein toh woh tumhare baap..

Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on pragmatism rather than real friendship...