Clean Jokes

Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on pragmatism rather than real friendship...

Bob is a favorite conductor among commuters on the Long Island Rail Road. He has great rapport with the regulars, but occasionally runs into a problem rider. One passenger, for instance, seemed irritated...

This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that`s in, sends players out one at a time, to see if they can get in before they get out. If they get out before they get in, they come in, but...

Q: How do you tickle a Rich Girl?
A: Gucci... Gucci... Gucci...
Q: How does a Rich Girl Curse?
A: Oh Teri Fendi...

A furious row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client after what started out as a routine inking session, left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment. Vintage film fan and part time...

A man`s printer started printing more and more faintly, so he called a local repair shop. A friendly young man informed him, "Well, you could bring it in for a cleaning, but we charge $50 for that...

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man`s car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, "Wow, just look at our cars...

A country club didn`t allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women`s club...

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.
"No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I don`t know about that...

One of Russia`s Ambassadors was having dinner with Putin and said that time zones around the world confused him. "Why?" Putin asks.
"Ah, Mr. President, I called Angela Merkel to congratulate...