Clean Jokes

Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section. One asks the other if she would like a beer. The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would be...

She married him because he was such a "strong man."
She divorced him because he was such a "dominating male."
He married her because she was so "fragile and...

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse`s trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach...

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this...

About 30 years ago, a rich but old Punjabi woman had three sons-in-law. Each of them was better than the other in taking care of her and also, all of them respected the old lady very much. One day, without disclosing...

An extremely drunk man walks into a bar. He looks around for a while and, after staring at the only woman seated at the bar for some time, stumbles over to her and kisses her full on the lips. Shocked and outraged...

The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and...

In a church one Sunday morning a preacher said, "Anyone with `special needs` who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front of the altar."
With that, Peter got in line and when it was his turn...

A teacher asked his class how many of them were Trump fans. Not quite knowing what a Trump fan is, but wanting to be loved by the teacher, all of the kids raised their hands, except Little Johnny. The teacher asked...

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says. The two Englishmen just stare at him...