Clean Jokes

My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on...

Manmohan Singhji Sabji Kharidne Gaye.
Manmohan Singh: Bhai Sahab, Ye Bhindi Kya Bhaav Hai?
Sabjiwala: Ab Rulaoge Kya? Free Mein Le Jao, Pehli Baar Awaaz Suni Hai...

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I`m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it`s today. The bartender says, "Well, since it`s...

The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss.
Dad: This is unacceptable. I don`t use home phone, I use my work phone.
Mum: Me too. I hardly use...

Dress Code:
You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially...

Doctor Bloom, who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis, had a waiting room full of people, when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane. When her turn came...

Kim Jong-Un and Vladimir Putin were having a summit meeting at a 20-story building. During a break, the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards. First, Putin called his guard Ivan...

Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, "Oh... How did it go?"
"I nearly died of shame...

A guy meets a childhood pal. "What are you doing for yourself these days?"
"I`m a fireman."
"Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman."
"Well, if you want some good...

A convicted felon was given ten years without parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o`clock news. Because he had to be careful...