Clean Jokes

Whenever I feel depressed in my life... I open my E-Mail spam inbox... and I find: 10 banks are giving me easy loans.
I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons...

Two boys were struggling with a huge table in a doorway. They pushed and pulled and upped it and downed it until both were exhausted.
Between gasps for air, one managed to say, "We better give up... because we`ll never...

Mullah Nasruddin returned home grinning foolishly on a festival holiday and his wife wondered aloud about what was so funny. Mullah revealed that he had bought a fine leg of lamb from the market. On his way home he...

One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked.
His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how...

Ricky was at the mall and went into a toy shop, picked up a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper Monopoly money and started to leave. The shopkeeper told him, "Excuse me little boy, this isn`t real money...

A community orchestra was plagued by attendance problems. Several musicians were absent at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every player in the orchestra had missed several rehearsals, except for...

A man was sent to prison for 20 years. He was so bored while in there; he found an ant and decided to teach it tricks - like beg, play dead, roll over, jump hair etc. He served his time and was...

Santa dials a number. A Girl answered.
Santa: Hello... Kaun?
Girl: Main Seeta...
Sardar: O Teri!!! Yeh Toh Ayodhya Lag Gaya...

1. Mother-in-law: In India - A woman capable of making your life miserable.
Outside India - A woman you never fight with, because where else you will find such a...

A couple bought themselves a squirrel pet. One night they went out for dinner and locked the squirrel in the closet. Later that night a thief broke into their house. The thief was in the process of stealing the couple`s...