Clean Jokes

Now that I`m `Older` (but refuse to grow up), here`s what I`ve discovered.
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head...

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room...

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?" The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Madam," said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is...

A wise old Texas rancher went to town to trade for a pickup truck he saw advertised in the paper for an unbelievably low price. After showing the salesman which truck he wanted, they sat down to do the paperwork...

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing. "We` re supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don`t have a...

2 Dost Daaru Pee Ke Apni Gaadi Se Gahr Jaa Rahe The. Tabhi Ek Dost Chillaya, "Deewar... Abbe Samne Dekh Deewar Hai.... Deewar... Dewaar Dekh Kamine......"
Aur Itne Mein... Dhadaaaaam....

I never take risk while drinking.
When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking,
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen,
I stealthily enter the house, tTake out the bottle from my black...

An old lady tottered into a lawyer`s office and asked for help in arranging a divorce.
< "A divorce?" asked the unbelieving lawyer. "Tell me, how old are you?"
"I`m eighty-four," answered the old lady.
"Eighty-four!!! And how old...

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer..

A lawyer had a wife and 12 kids and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home. When he said he had 12 kids, no one would...