After a busy day commuters settled down on their train trip home, when a chap hauled out his mobile and loudly started up:
"Hi darling, it's John, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's 7.00 and not 5.00 but I had a long meeting - no, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss, no darling you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah..."
When this went on more than 15 minutes, a young woman sitting opposite him, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of her voice, "Hey, John! Turn off that phone and come back to bed!"
An old lady tottered into a lawyer's office and asked for help in arranging a divorce.
"A divorce?" asked the unbelieving lawyer. "Tell me, how old are you?"
"I'm eighty-four," answered the old lady.
"Eighty-four! And how old is your husband?"
"My husband is eighty-seven."
"My my," said the lawyer." And how long have you been married?"
"Next September will be sixty-two years."
"Married sixty-two years?! Why would you want a divorce now?"
"Because," the woman answered calmly, "enough is enough!"