Clean Jokes

Conversation between a software engineer and his wife.
Husband - Hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - Would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - Hard disk...

A Singapore millionaire secretly maintained a mistress in Hong Kong, bought a posh sea view apartment (in his own name) for her to live in, plus gave her a monthly allowance of US$5,000. The house cost him about...

Santa Pehli Baar Train Mein Safar Kar Raha Tha. Uski Nazar Ek Signboard Pe Padti Hai Jis Pe Warning Likhi Thi:
Bina Ticket Safar Karne Wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar!!!!!!
Santa: Waah ji Waah... Aur Humne Ticket Li Toh Hum...

Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store: Don`t ever fart here, the smell will stay for ages. We don`t have Windows.
And a Tit for Tat from Microsoft...

Scene: Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs. Pakistan. Chetan is bowling and Javed is batting. Pakistan needs 24 runs in 4 balls.
Ajit: Rabert, Jao Aur Chetan Se Kaho Ki Ek Khatarnak Bouncer

Here`s how the Indian TV news channels would report the `Jack and Jill` nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious. TV Anchor Prashant: Two persons have been injured in a freak...

Ek Aadmi Samundar Mein Nahate Huye Doobne Laga Toh Usne Dua Ki: Hey Bhagvan ! Agar Mein Bach Gaya Toh Biryani Ki Deg Garibo Ko Khilaunga. Tabhi Ek Badi Si Lehar Aati Hai Aur Usko Utha Ke Sahil Pe...

You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in 'The Villages' Florida newspaper. Who says seniors don`t have a sense of humour?

Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. One of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly...

A Bihari, a Bengali and our Santa were arguing on the hospital ward who was the most careless. The Bihari guy said, "I`m the most careless, this morning I ramped a pavement and went head on...