Clean Jokes

So I went to stay in the US and started getting used to the American way of life... After a few months of staying there, I thought I should have a personal handgun as well...

When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the pin like a hand grenade...

Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies. One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on...

A motorcycle officer stopped a man who ran a red light. The guy was a real jerk, demanding, "Why am I being harassed by the Gestapo?!"
The officer calmly told him of his violation...

I was working in a scrap yard during summer vacation at an engineering university. I worked repairing construction equipment. One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer...

Two girls board a crowded bus and one of them whispers to the other, "Watch me embarrass a man into giving me his seat."
Pushing her way through the crowd, she turned all of her charms...

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him...

Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on pragmatism rather than real friendship...

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Pa replies, "There ain`t nothing wrong with the outhouse...

One evening, a man gave his tipsy secretary a ride home after an office party. His wife was prone to jealousy, so he didn`t mention the incident to her. Later in the evening, he was driving his wife...