Clean Jokes

An old lady, a difficult independent, use to sit on a bench in a park to feed the pigeons. One day, she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company...

Dear Staff, Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm. It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to...

Pati: Priye, Kal Subah Kya Tum Mere Saath Yoga Class Chalna Pasand Karogi?
Patni: Tum Kehna Kya Chahte Ho, Main Kya Moti Ho Gayi Hoon?
Pati: Koi Baat Nahin, Ichcha...

Just Before the Weekly Bridge Game Mr. and Mrs. Jones were an average middle-aged couple who got along well enough as long as Mr. Jones didn`t put his foot in his mouth...

While walking down the street one day, a high ranking politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance...

Ek Sharaabi ek Pahunche Huye BABA Ke Aashram Mein Gaya.
Sharaabi: Maharaj, Main Aapki Sharan Mein Aaya Hun.... Mujh Per Kripa Kijiye.
Baba: Kya Baat Hai Beta...

There is a story about monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several 100 feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket, which was pulled...

While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old veteran, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate of the military hospital, the doctor struck up a conversation...

Look both right and left for cars, motorcycles, animals and pedestrians;
Look "up" for American drones;
Look "down" for bombs and...

The skydiving instructor was going through the question-and-answer period with his new students when one of them asked the usual question:

If our chute doesn`t open; and the reserve doesn`t open, how long would we have till we hit the ground?

The jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered:
The rest of your life.