Clean Jokes

Wife: Jaanu, Kaash Aap Message Hote, Main Aapko Save Karti Aur Jab Dil Chahta Ta Padh Leti.
Husband: Kanjoos Hee Rahiyo, Save Hee Karke Rakhiyo,

Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they`re suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"
"Yes, Bubba, sure is true...

Ek Baar Banta Mandir Gaya Aur Haath Jodkar Bahgwaan Se Prarthana Karta Hai: Hey Prabhu ! Aaj Maine Lottery Daali Hai, Meri Aapse Dua Hai Ki Please Aaj Meri Meri Lottery...

Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children...

Top Replies by Teachers if they don`t know the answers:
1) I think the question is wrong.
2) I`ll tell you tomorrow.
3) Don`t ask such foolish....

A picky lady customer at a Supermarket`s fruit department watches as a new delivery of fresh fruit is delivered.
"Give me two kilo of oranges and wrap every orange in...

Number 9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
Number 8. Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which....

A friend asked a gentleman why he never married?
Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I`ve been looking for the...

Sanjay Dutt: Jailer Sahab, Mujhe Phir Se Baapu Dikh Rela Hai!
Jailer: Kidhar?
Sanjay Dutt: Wo Udhar, Dhoti Mein.
Jailer: Abe...

Beer and ice will give you hangovers.
Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.
Rum and ice will ruin your liver...