Clean Jokes

BRITTANY had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she`d have to open it for her...

A panhandling bum is walking along in the theater district just around matinee time. The streets are crowded with people rushing to get in to their shows. The bum sees a well dressed...

Army traditions and discipline run deep. A regiment had a new CO. On inspection he saw two soldiers guard a bench. He asked the reason. "We don`t know, Sir The last CO told us...

A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee`s pay...

One day during school, a 2nd grade teacher was in the middle of a math lesson. Suddenly a little girl named Susie stood up and yelled, "Teacher, teacher! Can I go to the potty, I have to pee...

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration...

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune...

"Mom, dad, sit down. I have something very important to tell you," said Samantha, upon her return home from college after graduation. "I met a guy who lives near the college that I really like and...

A computer programmer was taking a smoke break when a woman passing by sarcastically commented, "Don`t you know that those things can kill you? They put a warning on every pack...

Have you ever wondered why it`s OK to make jokes about Catholics, Jews, Christians, the Pope, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Hungarians, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians...