Bill Gates' Old Friend
A guy ordered a drink in an airport cocktail lounge and suddenly realized that sitting across from him was Bill Gates. Barely concealing his enthusiasm, he introduced himself, "Hello, Mr. Gates. My name is...
Children and Wisdom
A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It`s hard to believe these were actually...
A Nutty Affair
So I was sitting on the bus and somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw an old lady. She said to me, "Sonny, would you like some nuts? I`ve got a couple hazelnuts and almonds if you`d like....
Your Job Sucks?
Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains...
Your Prayer Has Been Heard
A college student wrote a letter home: Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy.I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my...
Multiple Entrances
There is this corner bar that has three entrances, one on each street, and one on the corner. A drunk walks into one entrance, and bartender refuses to serve him, telling him he is too drunk. So, the drunk leaves...
Why Me...?
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over...
A Special Prayer
"Anyone with `needs` to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher said. Leroy gets in line, and when it`s his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about...
Pain and Ageing
An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn`t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can`t find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy...
Cost of Anesthesia
Margie received a bill from the hospital for her recent surgery, and was astonished to see a $900 fee for the anesthesiologist. She called his office to demand an explanation. "Is this some kind of mistake...