Clean Jokes

Andy`s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying...

Chap goes in to a bar and orders a vodka and coke. Barman serves him. Man drinks it orders another. This goes on for a while, until the chap begins to slow down. Barman asks, "Is there anything the matter,

I recently met a Chinese man and his name was Kanna Swami. I asked him, "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"
He said, "Many, many years ago when I first went to USA

Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, "I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?"
"Why don`t you ask the rabbi?" says Morris. Cecil sees Rabbi Golden...

A man and wife were playing in their club`s annual `Guys and Dolls` tournament. The man was not happy about having to play, but his wife insisted. On the 12th tee, his patience had reached its limit. While his wife wasted...

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife`s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist...

"Your Honor," she told the judge, "I want a divorce. My husband has been cheating on me."
"That is a serious accusation," the judge said. "Do you have any...

A bloke went into a pub, sat down at the bar and ordered five pots. The barman wondered since he was alone, but served up the five pots. And the bloke downed them all... one, two, three, four, five...

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything went quite well...

The small town sheriff pulled over a Porsche doing 75 miles per hour in a 35 zone. Its wealthy yuppie driver was steaming.
When he finally appeared before the local magistrate, he exploded...