Clean Jokes

"Sister Ann, aren`t you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging stomach. "Why, no Father," answered the nun demurely, "It`s just...

The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate an occasion with a `little` stowed away rum. Unfortunately he got drunk and was still drunk the next morning. The captain saw him drunk and when the first mate...

A couple, hosting a dinner party, were interrupted when the maid called the hostess to the kitchen. "Ma`am, the cat climbed up on the kitchen counter and ate the lot of the fresh salmon...

Q: Tell us about yourself ?
A: Yourself is pronoun used when the subject and object of the verb are you.
Q: What challenges you faced in your earlier job...

Archimedes`s mother: "Didn`t you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???"
Thomas Edison`s mother: Of course I am proud that you invented...

A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald`s. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided...

Two church members were going door-to-door through the neighborhood and finally arrived at Mrs. Smith`s house. She was not happy to see them. She greeted them with an attitude that made it clear she had no time...

After only a year in Canada, a Polish man got married to a nice Canadian girl. They got along quite well until the day he rushed into his lawyer`s office and begged him to arrange a quick divorce...

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy. Faithfully they attended...

Out on the golf course with his wife, the husband says, "Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me."
His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days...