Clean Jokes

When Canadian road workers found about 200 dead crows on the highway between Toronto and Hamilton, there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. So the government had a bird pathologist examine...

A man visits a doctor for routine check-up. During check-up he asks the doctor, "Do you think I`ll live a long and healthy life then?"
Doctor replies, "I doubt it somehow...

As the UK and French governments began plans for the Chunnel (English Channel Tunnel), they realized they didn`t have the ability to build it themselves, so they put the project out for bid. Three teams...

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is liquid, it must be shaken then spilled.
If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or...

A Dentist was conducting a survey: How long do you use your Toothbrush...?
Indian: There is no fixed time limit doctor, may be years...!!! Initially we use it for brushing our teeth, then we use it for....

American Interviewer: So what`s your email ID ?
Indian Candidate: Sir, iamanindian@gmail.com
American Interviewer: And password ?
Indian: 12345678

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream `racism` these days.
In London, a customer asked, "Do you have "Sarso Da Tel?"
The shopkeeper says "Are you a "Punjabi?"
The guy (clearly offended) says...

Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty`s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address...

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
"I can`t do that, officer...

A Syrian arrives in Toronto as a new immigrant to Canada. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. Canadian, for letting me come into this country...