Clean Jokes

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is liquid, it must be shaken then spilled.
If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or...

A Dentist was conducting a survey: How long do you use your Toothbrush...?
Indian: There is no fixed time limit doctor, may be years...!!! Initially we use it for brushing our teeth, then we use it for....

American Interviewer: So what`s your email ID ?
Indian Candidate: Sir, iamanindian@gmail.com
American Interviewer: And password ?
Indian: 12345678

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream `racism` these days.
In London, a customer asked, "Do you have "Sarso Da Tel?"
The shopkeeper says "Are you a "Punjabi?"
The guy (clearly offended) says...

Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty`s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address...

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
"I can`t do that, officer...

A Syrian arrives in Toronto as a new immigrant to Canada. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. Canadian, for letting me come into this country...

A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren`t you successful with the Arabs ?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East...

"Mr. Chilton," the analyst said, "I think this will be your last visit."
"Does that mean I`m cured?" he asked.
"For all practical purposes, yes," she said. "I think we can safely say that your kleptomania...

A new report shows that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising health benefits. Being five to ten pounds overweight could protect people from ailments...