Prescription Drug
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world...
Your Dog Was Depressed
Jason gets off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocks on his blind date`s door. She opens it and is very beautiful and charming. "I`ll be ready in a few minutes," she says. "Why don`t you play with Spot...
Christmas Party Warning
A warning to all you drivers, be careful about drunk driving as we`re getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another...
Fake News
On a very Serious note, please be informed that somebody is trying to cause false alarm and despondency by spreading a very bad rumor about me. Some people are intentionally trying to harm my reputed image...
A Slip of the Tongue
One day there was a priest sitting in a pew with a very worried and nervous look, and a another priest saw him and wondered what was wrong. The second priest thought he should try to help, so he approached...
The Great Gambler
Benjamin is in the midst of a long dry spell in Las Vegas. Eventually he gambles away all his money and has to borrow a quarter from another gambler just to use the men`s room. He finds a stall that happens to be open...
Devil Shopping
The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed.
"I don`t know," she wailed...
Apple Browning
A 4-year-old son was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?"
"Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off...
Pre-Lit Christmas Trees
It`s Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach...
Who Listens?
Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man...