Clean Jokes

Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man...

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He`s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What`s in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan...

"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there`s something I can`t figure out."
"What`s that, Joey?` asked Goldblatt.
"Well, according to the Bible...

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So the journalist goes down and...

I work in the electronics department of a major retailer. The phone rings one evening. On the other end is a girl, who sounds to be about 18 or so, and I can hear muffled giggles behind her, so I know she`s got it..

A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Sunday, the leg was very swollen and he was having difficulty walking, so he called his physician at his home. The doctor told him...

His Phone rang in church by accident during prayers. The Pastor scolded him. The worshippers admonished him after prayer for interrupting the silence. His wife kept on kept on lecturing him on his...

Bubba Joe`s first military assignment was to a military induction center, and, because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about the government benefits...

Several days before Halloween, Tom, Dick and Harry were sitting in a bar enjoying a few quiet drinks, when they decided to get in on the Christmas raffle. Since the raffle was for charity...

A wife sends her programmer husband for grocery shopping. She tells him: I need butter, sugar and cooking oil. Also, get a loaf of bread and if they have eggs, get 6. The husband returns with the butter...