Clean Jokes

Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it`s certainly good...

A country club didn`t allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement...

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise...

A drunk, who smelled of beer sat down, on a subway seat next to a priest. The man`s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket...

I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded with her 5-year- old daughter and Mom sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but...

This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter...

It was a case of attempted murder, in which the prisoner was accused of having fired twice at his intended victim. One of the witnesses for the prosecution was being severely cross-examined by the defending counsel...

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend, hunting with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home...

Children of now a days are so spoilt that they don`t even know that in our days you could be beaten for any of the following reasons: Crying after being beaten.
Not crying after being beaten...

An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon."
He knocked. The Innkeeper`s wife stuck her head out...