Clean Jokes

"Great news, Mr. Bradley," the psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. You`ll never be trapped by the desire...

A man walked into a therapists office looking very depressed. "Doc, you`ve got to help me. I can`t go on like this."
"What`s the problem?" the doctor inquired...

The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good news. I was being promoted to Vice President of Corporate Research and Planning. Of course, I was excited, but...

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts...

A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.
"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad...

At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake`s edge and yelled through his megaphone, "Number 99, come in, please. Your time is up."
Several minutes passed, but the boat didn`t return...

A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, loss due to fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed...

Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies. One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take for the church to...

Benjamin is in the midst of a long dry spell in Las Vegas. Eventually he gambles away all his money and has to borrow a quarter from another gambler just to use the men`s room. He finds a stall that happens...

A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator truck for $46,500 and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns...