Clean Jokes

Before celebrating a baptism, the deacon approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you sure you`re prepared for it?"
"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made...

Tom, Glenn, and Scott were working on a high rise building project. Glenn fell off and was instantly killed. As the ambulance took the body away, Scott said, "Someone should go and tell his...

A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter`s plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure. As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter...

"Great news, Mr. Bradley," the psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. You`ll never be trapped by the desire...

A man walked into a therapists office looking very depressed. "Doc, you`ve got to help me. I can`t go on like this."
"What`s the problem?" the doctor inquired...

The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good news. I was being promoted to Vice President of Corporate Research and Planning. Of course, I was excited, but...

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts...

A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.
"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad...

At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake`s edge and yelled through his megaphone, "Number 99, come in, please. Your time is up."
Several minutes passed, but the boat didn`t return...

A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, loss due to fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed...