Attention Deficit Disorder
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that...
Why don't men ever listen?
A man bought a kitten and tried to teach it to speak. Everyday for six years he taught it the alphabet. For hours and hours he`d say to the cat, "Repeat after me..." and then he would say a word, or a sentence...
Crab That Walks Straight
A crab and a lobster are secretly dating. Pretty soon, the lobster tires of the lying and tells her father, who then forbids her to see the crab anymore. "It`ll never work, honey." he says to her. "Crabs walk sideways...
All Quacked Up
An American tourist was visiting a small village in Ireland when there was a sudden gust of wind which blew his hat off into the middle of a nearby pond. Walking over to the village idiot, who was sitting beside the pond...
I Gave at the Office
Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing...
Playing with Words
The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend...
Marriage License
A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn`t, sent them off to get...
Ordinary vs Political Thief
The Ordinary Thief steals your Money, bag, watch, gold chain etc.
But, The Political Thief steals your future, career, education, health and business...
Unruly Child
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, "I`m running away from home...
The Law Of Attraction
The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it. The rat was in the middle of the cage. Then, the professor kept a piece of cake on one side and kept a female rat on the other side. The male rat ran...