Clean Jokes

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.
Paddy, the officer, stops them and tells them, "It is illegal to put five people in a Quattro. Quattro means four...

Three blonde fishermen are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, I`d like to see...

Reporter: Why did you attack Iraq in the 90s?
USA: Because we suspected that they had Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Reporter: Why did you attack Syria...

A young priest gets up in the morning and goes to breakfast. On his way there two nuns look at him and he says, "Good morning sisters" and they reply in a sing song manner, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed...

An elderly man was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he`d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. He opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that...

A Sindhi went to a dentist for tooth extraction but first enquired about the cost. Dentist said Rs 1200, the Sindhi thought that was too much. After some thought, he asked about cheaper methods. The dentist said...

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would...

Punjabi is now the third language in Canada`s Parliament. However, BC continues to stand for British Columbia. Canada govt has introduced A Crash Course in Pinglish: (Punjabi English)...

Q: Doctor, I`ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that`s it... don`t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.

There was a businessman, and he was not feeling well, so he went to see the doctor about it. The doctor says to him, "Well, it must be your diet, what sort of greens do you eat...