Clean Jokes

These four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified...

At a church meeting, a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith. "I`m a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember that turning point..

In a unit gathering, the commanding officer cracked a joke. Everybody laughed except the young Lieutenant. Commanding officer to Lieutenant: I think you didn`t get the joke...

This little old lady is walking her dog around the local lake. It is a cold morning and the lake is still frozen. All of a sudden her little dog spots a duck on the ice and runs out to bite the shit out of it...

Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children. The first one says, "You know, my son, he graduated first in his class from Oxford. He`s now a doctor, making $250,000 Euro a year in Chicago....

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses...

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8
What do you think your mom...

Our teacher asked what my favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn`t funny; but she couldn`t have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always...

Three guys are golfing with the club pro. First guy tees off and hits a dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and says, "What did I do wrong?"
The pro says, "Loft...

Wife`s Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that...