Clean Jokes

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday. Everybody complimented him on how healthy, athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
"I will tell you the secret of my success...

The following questions were in a UK grade 12 equivalent examination - ( Purportedly genuine answers)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheikh wears on his head...

A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explained, "my wife`s expecting."
"Oh..." said the Officer...

My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table. There was no response...

A husband comes home after attending a club meeting. He tells his wife, "Dear, there was a drinking competition after meeting today."
His wife spontaneously, "Who got the second position...

A cow was kept for viva spotting. Answers frm medicos:
Pre MBBS - it`s a cow!!!
Final MBBS - Perhaps this is a cow!
MD - Four legged animal with...

One day in a well known University, a Sr Psychology Professor started his class on a very serious Topic. The moment he turned towards the blackboard, one of the students Whistled. He turned, looked at the class and...

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at...

A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. "Sorry, we don`t need anyone..." the manager at the office replied.
"You can`t afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone, anything, anytime...

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied...